I'm a wee bit paranoid.

Alright, I feel queasy that he might be able to "backtrace it" [-you dun goof'd guy reference.] this page.

I don't know, but hurrgh.

All that has happened, has happened.

Tony was awesome, but he's just that. Awesome. I can't stick to him because he's an unstable molecule.

And now, as you can see, the love of my life, and basically somebody worth dying for, somebody worth living with has descended.

All cool-awesome-like.

If only I have met you earlier in a different context of friendship, maybe bumped into each other [ahahaha, tough luck, kid.], or maybe just hang out together.

But aghh.

What. I. Would. Do. For. Him.


IMMENSE.



Well, I hope if he reads this, oh my God, I hope he understands.

No, I have never fitted in with anybody else aside from my old friends; Kelsi, Dela and Rene. And you, of course. Definitely you.

I attempted myself to a guy because you were already somebody's at that time.

Well, that relatioship went on for a very long ime.. until I moved back to my home country. He even made his sister say to me via phonecall, that there is no such person living around here.

Damn, that was the time when I truly broke down, thinking why didn't I let this useless guy go, and turned towards you.

I know, it's a pretty dumb story, but life has its errors, and this is probably one of the biggest,aside for the fact that I didn't love my dad as much as he deserved when he was alive. Huh.

Now, if anybody else is reading this, I am having relationship problems due to the fact that we're not as close as we were[location-wise]. I'm attempting to save money, a dollar a day[hopeless, I know..] just to hold him in my arms, and say, "life goes on, so keep your heart clean, keep your chin up. I'm here."

Uhh. This is proably the longest post I ever posted, but I don' really want to use blogger much from now on.

If you still want to waste your time reading my endless rants, it's on tumblr: http://intergalacticplasticwrappers.tumblr.com/

Well then, I'll catch you when you fall.

I moved to Tumblr.

Tumblr's way cooler.

First post after a long lapse.

I love him. UGGHHHH

Probably too much, I should.. I dunno. lessen it?

Not working. =/

He has insomnia, and he can't answer me back; we're talking via mic online.

wh-wh-whuuud.

Music: I Think I Love You by Dwele

Ever feel when you're with your loved one, it feels so peaceful, like there's nothing in the world that could rip it apart, twist it into monstrosity?

He makes me feel like that, but I don't know how to express it. Ugh.

When I'm serious about love, I'll always, always hesitate. =/

My love is one-sided, I'm not sure if I can take it any longer.

I'm also missing my heart, he stole it.

I don't know how to ask him to give it back, because I don't think I'll ever want him to forget me.

Headers for blogger.com!

sushi and the likes.

greenery dots.

this looks like Christmas, but it's not exactly Christmas. o.o;

cute checkers. hehe.

first attempt and fail. haha.
Please, take whatever you like, but like, remember, if you say this is your artwork, it's not, because I drew it at http://drawr.net with my own personal account, so you will be lying to yourself and everything logical in this world.

Just saying.

Any more cute suggestions?

Aaaah, sweet, sweet friends..

Wish you guys could all just accept me for who I am.

I know I don't really speak in the same lingo and jargon that you guys use, but I still am human, so don't fucking shun me away, for goodness' sakes.

Ahh, I wish they're more open-minded instead of gutter-minded.

It's no fun talking to sewers, right?

Anyways, I feel so blahh today, thinking about my old friends, how we were so awesome together, me not needing to try and change myself, me eating whatever I want and people not caring much, people not making fun of my braces( I mean- really. What's the fucking joke about it, I don't get it.)

I'm listening to Day 'n Nite by Kid Cudi, and it's not really helping the mood, is it? Haha. [:

I love myself for being original, for liking who I am, for loving my own music taste, but they have to respect my shit too, if they force me to listen to fucking Justin Bieber every effing moment and those ugly old Malay songs. UGLY.

Ugh.

I don't even know why am I so angry, I'm just so tired of crying at night, being shitty everyday when guys give me the weird looks every class I go to, and I thought college guys are a bit more matured? Not even close.

How the fuck am I supposed to forget about my ex if there's nobody here that even looks me in the face and say "hi" in a normal tone, instead of making those strange faces?

Plus..

My mom's short of cha-ching.

One of the reasons why I cry at night anyways.

And one other thing I don't understand about the Malays. Why can't they brave up and say what they think in a matured way and not gossip? And like, being able to say, "I'm sorry.." to a person, to a friend?

Yeah, those are like, dreams that will never come true, huh.

And, when I came back home a while ago, I almost cried out of joy of the familiarity.

I don't ever want to sell this house. I love it too much, so many memories. Too many memories.

I just wish people wouldn't change in such a horrible manner.

I just wish..

Here's how it all falls into place.

I shall not speak, and shall not talk about it.

Eh, nothing interests me here, nothing at all.


Tony claims that I make him happy.




So's I, so's I.